An Oldy But Goodie

I am getting ready to go out to a Halloween party and I can't help thinking back to my last Halloween at UMass. I can't remember whose been told this story but I htink its pretty funny I think it deserves to be posted. So here it goes...

It was my senior year at UMass and I was Mary Catherine Gallagher from SNL (think hands in armpits and superstar) for Halloween. My friend Calen called me up and invited me to a Halloween party out on a farm. So I hopped in the car with my knee highs, plaid skirt, yellow polo shirt, red vest and black rimmed glasses. There was a lot of people at this party and a couple of kegs had already been picked when me and my friends went on the last haunted hay ride of the night. It had been raining for a couple of hours so I ran back to the car to get my jacket. By the time I got to the tractor my friends were up at the front so I just hopped onto the back.

We started moving and right away you can just feel that this tractor is just full, almost too full. We start plodding away into the dark muddy trail. We can hear chainsaws in the distance but we really don't see much of anything.

We start heading up this hill and the tractor stalls. Well I'm the last person on the tractor so as we stop I fall off, heals over my head, skirt up in the air, into the muddy trail. As I am trying to get up, the tractor starts rolling backwards toward me, so yet a again I fall backwards into the mud. Everyone was yelling at the driver, Molly, to stop so she did, and then she started going forward again. This is a multi-acre farm, it's dark and muddy, the last thing I need is to be left in the middle of it. Eventually Molly catches on to what is going and stops and I hop back on.

Thankfully, the only thing that was hurt was my ego, but we still had to get through the rest of the hayride. There was a 40-something man sitting next to me who reeked like a distillery. He puts his arm around me and says in a gruff MA accent "I'm not trying to hit on ya hun, we just can't have you falling off again."

We get done with the ride and I meet back up with my friends and like good friends they handed me a beer and then just laughed at me. I was a pretty sad sight. There was mud caked all over me, and it wasn't like we were leaving any time soon. It also turns out that the players of the haunted hayride were drunk and thought that the rides were over so we never actually did get haunted.

Whenever Melissa, Paul, or Calen introduce me to new people this is the story that is told about me and I'm ok with that. In the words of the 40-something man that sat next to me, "It could have been worse, it could have been cow shit."

Happy Halloween!